I hadn't known it was coming so soon. I'd dressed that morning in my nicest school clothes - my best white, button down, oxford cloth, short sleeved shirt and pleated plaid skirt, penny loafers and white socks.But I was not quite as nerdy as I was prior to the dance, I admit. Underneath my nerdy best I had worn my newest underwear - a lacy bra - not because I needed a bra, but because it was lacy and nice - and lace panties, courtesy of a return trip to Victoria's Secret, and no, I did NOT do the mall naked again! I went with Carl and he even helped me pick them out!Of course I wore them for Carl, even though I didn't plan on him seeing my frillies until, maybe, just maybe, after school.Just in case, that was.Maybe.I know, we did some hot and heavy things Saturday after the dance, but we were both under the influence of the evening. We'd talked about it since and vowed to try to cool things down before we went Too Far, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I felt good knowing I was wearing. " I guess. I feel bad for Maja but it sounds rotten in my head when I think it." Why's that? Why would it feel rotten? I know what she's missed and I think you probably have a good clue about it by now. So why doesn't it sound right to you?" Because I keep thinking that if I said it, it would sound like I thought poorly of you and I don't. But it seems like it would sound that way. I don't want it to sound that way. I just want it not to be so." I was honestly on the point of tears and was hoping the sun would go down soon."I believe you. I've done my best and I think you think that. You do, don't you?" Yeah. I do. I do think that. I just think it's shitty that it hasn't been better and that you deserve better." Yeah. Me too. Maja and me? We have each other and we love our time together. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. But you were right last night. We both know that the past is what it is. We can't relive it, can't change it, can't fix it." Doesn't mean I have to like.
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